Kevin Love

Had two fouls? I was thinking more like 17.

College Hoops Analysis by Celebrity Guest Experts

Things have been a little busy, so I asked a few guest “experts” to help me out and answer this week’s questions.

1) Is Australia really in Europe? Also, is KSU earth’s team? They play everywhere. Jeb -- KS

Guest Expert: Larry the Cable Guy

Jeb,
Even though I’m a Nebraska fan, I know a lot about the redneck life. So, I’m somewhat of an expert RE: issues out of Manhattan, KS. Now, I don’t know much about Australia, or Europe or “Geology” in general, but I do know this Michael Beasley saga is getting old. Last Saturday, it looks like he finally wrote a check that his ass couldn’t cash. Even though, he went off for nearly 40, his Wildcats couldn’t “Git er Done” against the Jayhawks at Allen Fieldhouse. It’s been said before, and I agree; that Beasely is just not a college game player. He’s an extraordinary athlete, but he’s an individual player that likes to run his mouth, rather than focusing on team unity. At the college game level his talk becomes nothing more than bulletin board material, which is an extremely useful tool for opposing teams. His game, and appetite for attention through thoughtless quotes will be well suited for the NBA, which is where both he and Bill Walker will most definitely be next year.

As far as KSU being earth’s team…Could be. I heard that in order to build a little confidence and pad some wins next year (which will be increasingly difficult to come by without Walker and Beasley) they decided to schedule a game next year against the pygmies in New Guinea. “Dear Lord…I apologize for talking bad about the starving pygmies down there in New Guinea…”
---Larry.


2) Cornell’s in -- how much damage can they do in the tournament? Plus, why is the Ivy League coverage so weak on this site? M. Burns -- Springfield, USA

Guest Expert: Waylon Smithers

Mr. Burns, sir,
I’ll address your second question first. You are correct. The coverage is extremely weak, but you are a very strong, broad shouldered man. My guess is that coverage is limited because they simply don’t have East coast exposure in the Midwest. I do hope that I might be around to help you Mr. Burns sir, when your coverage is limited.

Sir, regarding Cornell…Yes, they are in. (I like to get in you Mr. Burns) Anyway, I digress. Winning their 1st Ivy League championship in 20 years, the Big Red’s numbers look good at 12-0 in conference play, and 20-5 overall, but they are projected at a 12 or 13 seed. Sir, History tells us they may win a game or two, but they are probably not capable of “going balls deep” in the tournament. Still, it’s been a great season for Cornell and even though Ithaca, NY is rocking, Cornell is taking it slow and just waiting to see what happens. Mr. Burns sir, if you’re interested, perhaps we could get rocking? I guess we can just take it slow and see what happens too, sir.
---Waylon


3) The largest Baptist University in the world, Baylor, really seems to have turned the corner this year with their basketball program. Would you attribute any of this recent success to the work of God almighty himself, or is it just good coaching by Coach Drew revitalizing the programs with the instillation of good character and ethics? D. Bliss – Waco, TX

Guest Expert: Tom Cruise

Dave,
This is an interesting question, leading us to ponder what impact, if any, that a “higher power” may have on college athletics. Let me preface my opinion by saying that I know you are from Waco, where there has been a history of cultish religion (ie David Koresh and the Branch Davidians) and these cultish religions (including the Christian faiths in general) are really just short lived fads with little basis. Now, Because Baylor is not a Scientologist university (which clearly is not a cultish religion), I would venture to say that the success can be primarily be attributed to the excellent work Coach Scott Drew has done the last couple of years. He has restored order at Baylor and weathered some difficult times, and now he is enjoying the spoils of that hard work. He appears to be recruiting athletes with character, and long gone are the days of murder and scandal. As a result, Baylor is building a program that is slowing moving away from the bottom feeders and escalating into a mid pack team in the Big XII, as well as possibly shooting for a NCAA tournament bid this year. It looks like Baylor is back, Hallelujah!

BTW, To learn more about Scientology, click here. ---Tom